Let's start simple, it is currently ten minutes till one a.m., that's 0100. The temperature is way below freezing, and as I sit here at my computer in my Springhill Suite room in the deserted, snow-blanketed town of Las Cruces, New Mexico, I find myself searching for a method. Or perhaps more a catalyst than a method.

Because so much has transpired in my career in the Navy, I am at a loss of where to start. I am therefore going to pick up right in the middle because otherwise, I will lose track of where I am going with this.

I remember talking to a retired captain in the CNATRA building at the start of my primary flight school about what I wanted to fly. I immediately replied "Jets, Sir" without even a moment's hesitation. As flight students, we were told that if you wanted Jets, you needed to be the best of the best. This is true, but you need more than just to be the best, you also need luck, you need experience, and you need to compartmentalize. I lacked most of these if not all, but here I am still fighting to get my NSS above a 50 so I too, can fly the fighter jets in the United States Navy. Right now, it seems such a distant dream, almost unattainable. I am not sure if I even want Jets. I do know that I dont want to disapoint anyone and I also know that I like being the best at things. Neither reason suffices a reason to fly jets. I want to want jets because I don't want anyone to be upset with my effort. Who doesn't want to be the best in everything that they do, I know that the feeling of winning always feels good. It is awesome to be admired and it feels good to know you are at the top. Whether or not I am going to get tailhook is up in the air. But, I promise myself that no matter what I get, I will always know that I tried my hardest and I sacrificed a lot. It is not a painless road ( flight school ) as all great roads paved are not without sacrifice and suffering. I have learned so much about myself this last year, since joining the navy and though a lot of it has to do with learning to fly an aircraft, the largest intangible part are the life lessons that I have obtained through my experiences since joining the navy.